Well, it is finally time for me to face the reality of what has been literally staring me in the face for the last several months. I won't be able to fix it by July 18.
I'm going to be big at my son's wedding.
sigh
There is no one to blame except myself. What started as a difficult recovery from a hysterectomy turned into a loss of will. By the time I felt like I was strong enough to resume working out, my body didn't want to cooperate. Then I pulled a hamstring which further hampered my efforts to get back into shape. The fact that I comforted myself with food throughout this process was something I was willing to overlook... ;) (ugh)
So, here I am. Much larger than I ever wanted to be, again. I have to admit that the thought of all the upcoming wedding photos makes me want to hide. I am already envisioning a fat photo of me on a wall for the next few decades. And after I had fought so hard to lose weight a few years ago. I had promised myself I would never 'go back'.
Yes, I'm going to be big at my son's wedding.
But, you know how God meets you right where you are? And nothing is too small or insignificant for Him? He has been talking to me... reaching out to comfort me. And to help me put things in the proper perspective.
I AM going to be big at my son's wedding.
I can already feel it. My heart filled to bursting with joy and love and happiness. I can picture it. Surrounded by so many that make our lives full and complete. Loved ones sharing this great joy with us; coming together to love and support Jackson and Brianna as they embark on this marvelous journey together.
I am going to be SO big at my son's wedding!
My arms will be full of hugs to both give and receive. My smile is going to be huge - in fact, I am already smiling!
So watch out world. I AM GOING TO BE BIG AT MY SON'S WEDDING! And I just can't wait for you to see! :D
LOL I just ADORE you! your heart is huge and your smile is the first thing I notice about you- so keep loving BIG - that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteYou are so kind. Thank you. :)
DeleteLove how you've taken your thoughts captive and shifted your perspective! God is good! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Yvonne!
ReplyDeleteGood job at choosing to captive self-condemning thoughts. I'm bigger than I want to be - not as big as I have been - but not where I wanted to be....and it seems every time I take on a big leadership role, I gain weight. I can see its because I don't have time to workout and take on the big role....so I'm thinking what that means in the future. I figure I'll lose it all within a year - I pray and then if I do this leadership thing again I'll have to figure it out better.....or maybe it just isn't time if I honestly don't have time to cook and workout like I need to with the role. Maybe Stacia has is on to something - I need to have a "nice, normal life." My struggle the past few weeks has been to want to self-medicate or comfort with all the stress...reading your post was timely.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right DeEtta, it takes TIME to be healthy. Time is something that has been a real struggle these last months. I guess that is just the season I am in.
ReplyDelete