Summer pool time

July 2021

A big part of my healing (physically as well as mentally and emotionally) has been spending time in the pool.  It gives me a good Vitamin D dose and it soothes my soul.  It is the only place where I can truly relax. The pool has been sooooo important to me this summer and I am deeply grateful to Marvin for getting it all set up for me year after year and maintaining it for me so that I can enjoy using it.  What a gift.  

These views don't hurt anything either...

The skies are always beautiful - no matter the weather.

I just get so much joy looking out over this beautiful place I get to call home.

I was not in the pool for this photo below... :)  I had been in the pool but had to get out because a storm was coming.  This was taken during a lightning strike which lit things up like it was daytime - it was actually pitch black and about 10:30 at night!  That lightning was intense!  It also illuminated a bit of what we would see the next morning... the wind had obviously rotated a bit to blow things where they ended up.  For instance, that is the lid of one of our storage boxes that is kept on the north porch.  And in the distance the sand box lid.  :) 

was trying to get a photo of the lightning both times, but was not really successful

The next day we saw we had some work to clean up Daddy's yard.  I think every loose branch and leaf came off in that storm!  Lots of picking up to do before mowing.  :) 

But soon enough, I was back out in the pool.  Ahhhhh....

All I need is my music (By the way - I highly recommend that speaker pictured below - Ion Acadia waterproof/bluetooth with surround sound) my drinks, and my pretty Aldi beach towel (wish I had bought a second one!!)  

I love how the pool looks at night... I bought these solar lights to put up and they provide such soft and inviting light.  There are two more along the sides of the pool.

 

Sometimes I get to watch the action at the barn - like this night when Marvin was
bringing in Roxie and Chloe.  Chloe likes to explore on her way back to the barn... :)

I try to exercise first and then reward myself with pool floating time.  It is kind of crazy how this summer has been so cool overall... there have been days when it was simply too cold to get in the pool.  We have also had more rain lasting through the summer than 'normal'.  On this particular day I got in to do my exercise and about 5 minutes later I had to get out because of thunder approaching.   

I could tell by the look of things, not just the sound, that something was heading our way. 

I sat on the front porch awhile and waited for the rain to pass through.  Then I headed back for the pool to give it another try.  Nope... about 10 minutes later I heard another storm coming and this time there was lightning already apparent.  That time I gave up and went inside to shower.  :) 

However, after my shower I sat on the front porch watching the storm roll in.  

The sky was magnificent! 

Mesmerizing, even.

After the storm...

The beautiful soft light that follows a storm...

Such a peaceful view.

Here is a little video of Marvin bringing Chloe and Roxie to the barn and those beautiful storm clouds.

General health update

Here is a general health update on Daddy and me that is up to date (as of July 20, 2021).  :)

Certainly, this has been a challenging time in so many ways.  But definitely, health has been a huge part of that challenge.  Parainfluenza 3 went through our family shortly after Mama's visitation day.  Daddy and I got sick around my birthday, June 10.  Slowly, other people had versions of it, as well.  For the most part people recovered quickly and well.  (Although my brother Kerry is still battling it in Oklahoma.)  Daddy was hospitalized, as you know.  Once home from the hospital he had a long road to recovery but made great strides every week.  Home health care provided nursing and physical therapy and we cannot say enough good things about all of that.  Wonderful, caring, competent people who have made a real difference in the outcome.  We are so thankful.  

Currently, Daddy is doing very well.  He still has PT at home twice a week and is growing stronger every day.  He does his exercises daily and is working back toward his pre-hospitalization level of riding his exercise bike 5.3 miles each day.  He lost a lot of weight during the whole ordeal, but that is leveling back up as well.  His appetite is good and he enjoys eating.  That is a good Magruder characteristic!  :)  We are so incredibly thankful for all of this - and for Daddy's health returning.  He is so special and we need him here with us.  

I have been up and down... and up and down.  It is kind of ridiculous, frankly.  I was sick after my birthday, then felt a bit better.  Had a really awful day medically the day the day of Mama's memorial service, June 14.  In fact, dear Jonathan chose to stay home with Marvin and me instead of going out with all the cousins that night because he was concerned he would need to take me to the ER.  He wasn't wrong... and I maybe should have gone to the hospital that night... but I didn't and I am glad it worked out okay.  My oxygen was dipping down into the upper 80's and I was having such horrible coughing fits that I couldn't lay down.  Thankfully, we have a nebulizer and breathing treatments and so I was on those round the clock.  I went to the doctor a couple of times and received treatment that helped.  Yet it turned out to be my own body fighting against itself.  

I finally started to improve near the end of June.  Then came the night of Mama's birthday, June 26, and our family dinner.  Things were going well.  I felt good and had made beef roast for Daddy (his special request) but as we started eating I put one bite of beet greens in my mouth and immediately went into a full blown asthma attack where I was coughing involuntarily and couldn't get my breath.  I used Daddy's inhaler and Jonathan ran back to our house to get my inhaler and some meds for me.  Finally, things calmed down enough that I could breathe but it was very scary.  And so bizarre... One thing we noted that night, and again in the coming days, was that my heart rate, during these 'episodes' would drop precipitously after a coughing fit - for example, going from 88 to 37 - like a rock!  That turned out to be a big clue.  It was explained to me that my asthma was resurging (after being dormant for many years).  And my sympathetic nervous system was sort of battling it out with my parasympathetic nervous system.  Everything is all out of whack.  My coughing makes my Vagus nerve bottom out (remember Daddy at church?) and that is the heart rate dropping like a rock.  My inflammatory response is just going haywire and my body is all over the map trying to regulate things.  This all makes sense when you put the pieces together...  I have been living on adrenaline and high levels of stress for a few years now as caregiver.  Then that suddenly stopped when Mama died.  Yes, there is still caregiving to do, but it definitely changed - and abruptly.  My body (and mind) just couldn't handle that.  Then we all got Parainfluenza 3 and that blew things up even more.  I can actually feel the reality of that... in my body.  I felt something happen to me in that little room at the hospital after Mama died... I didn't know exactly what it was, but I felt it.  Like something broke.  (and I guess it did)  So, I know I have a long road to full recovery - and it will also involve me getting in better physical shape.  (I have let things go so long now I hardly recognize myself.)  So I have to figure out a way to take better care of myself and yet still get things done.  I am getting there.  

I have been doing better since the beginning of July, but have to admit to having yet another sudden asthma attack just this past weekend.  It got my attention.  I had been feeling pretty good and was ramping up my activity level again.  Not anywhere near my pre-May 29 normal, but feeling good about being 'productive'.  That all stopped again.  I am finally having to accept that this summer is just going to be way different than I envisioned.  I mean, that was already clear based on the events so far... but I have to understand that is nowhere near the end of it.  I have more limits now than ever before in my life - but that is okay.  I have not been good at acknowledging the reality of this, but I am embracing that now (or trying to).  The funny (maybe not really funny?) thing is that this feels sort of like laying in bed at night when you can't sleep... and then worrying about not getting enough sleep.  Totally defeating.  That is where I am in 'worrying' about 'losing this summer'.  I think that is pretty much a done deal at this point and I need to just let that go.  Being upright (mostly) and having Daddy still here (definitely) is the 'win' I need to focus on... and those are definitely WINS!

It is sooooo true that I had plans for this summer.  Looking back I have to laugh when I think about them all... yet clearly this summer is not going as I had envisioned.  And that is okay.  I am truly still so very thankful.  Thankful for my Daddy's continued presence in my life.  Thankful for a family that I love, even in the messy, stressful, hard parts.  Thankful for dear friends who have surrounded me and shown me that they love and care for me.  So thankful for the memories of a life well lived - my Mama.  Thankful for the legacy of faith that was passed to me and sustains me through all this crazy of life.  I truly am so thankful.  Perhaps I am just thankful now with tired lungs and a sadder heart.  

My therapy - not too shabby. 

The medical 'week that was'

We have had an interesting couple of months around here.   :)  In fact, new and interesting things seem to keep happening (that will be for another post).  But here is the spoiler alert - all is well and we are doing okay.  There just seem to be seasons in life and so far 2019 (and the last quarter of 2018) has been a full season.  :)

People have asked us many times 'what happened' back in March/April.  I will give a response here for the 'official record'.  :)

On March 25 Marvin and I were preparing for him to go in for surgery to repair an inguinal hernia on the 26th.  I had run my errands that morning and had gotten home to finish preparing for a hectic week.  Jonathan was out on the tractor working to repair the driveway when he got a phone call from Mama asking him to come to their house.  Daddy had been sick that morning with a cough and was staying in bed to rest up.  But he decided to come to the table to lunch and began to walk down the long hallway from their bedroom to the dining room.  He was unsteady and began to fall but found his feet moving faster and faster propelling him down the hallway.  As he reached the end of the hallway he fell into the living room.  One of many, many miracles happened here.  He fell into a glass topped table but the glass didn't shatter and he didn't hit his head.  Mama was sitting in her chair and he fell right in front of her.  Daddy couldn't get his legs to work to get him up on his own.  So Mama called Jonathan (she didn't want to 'bother' us since we were preparing for Marvin's surgery the next morning).  Jonathan arrived but was unable to get Daddy up.  So Mama called their doctor who said it was time to call 911 and get the ambulance.  The EMT's were great and worked to get Daddy up and transported to the ambulance to head to the hospital.  (It sure turned out to be a very good thing that Jonathan had repaired those deep potholes in the driveway BEFORE the ambulance transported Daddy!)  After a few hours in the ER and many tests it was determined that Daddy should be admitted for the night for observation.  His heart was doing crazy things, but they didn't feel like he was in imminent danger because of it.  We really weren't sure what was going on.  Thankfully a nurse on duty during the night heard him coughing and requested that a flu panel be run on him.  Sure enough, Daddy had the flu.  Two strains in fact!  The flu coupled with heart issues he already has really did a number on him.  Daddy spent the night in the hospital and I was sure glad he was getting IV fluids and then Tamiflu.

The next morning I got Marvin to the hospital bright and early at 5:30 a.m. for his hernia surgery.  As soon as they took him back for the actual surgery I went back upstairs to the 4th floor to see Daddy.  Daddy was doing better after the fluids and the Tamiflu and was able to be released about mid-day.  He continued to recover at home and did pretty well.

Marvin had a very long surgery (about 4 hours!) and it turned out he had two inguinal hernias but they repaired both.  He also had a fatty tumor removed (benign) and some adhesions from all his previous surgeries that made the whole thing a bit more complicated.  The surgery itself was successful and we were sent home that afternoon.  I tend to think surgeries like that maybe shouldn't be outpatient (and I guess it turns out that his shouldn't have been).  But that is just how it is nowadays.

We had a decent Tuesday night and Wednesday early morning.  But by mid-day Wednesday we knew things weren't going well.  Marvin was extremely nauseated and in awful pain.  We also recognized that the pain wasn't necessarily from the incision/surgery but the old familiar bile duct blockage pain.  :(  As the day went on Marvin got worse and I got more concerned. About 5:00 he had an 'episode' that was truly frightening.  He and I were alone in the house (dear Jonathan was outside doing all the chores).  Marvin called my name and as I stood right in front of him I watched him turn chalky gray, break out in a cold sweat, and then sort of slump over.  He was not responding as I called out his name (although he told me later that he could hear me that whole time... he just couldn't respond).  He was making agonizing noises and I felt so helpless.  When the episode passed I contacted our friend, Brian, and he actually came to check Marvin out.  I also called Shonda and asked her to get ahold of Jackson and send him our way.  About the time Brian and Jackson arrived, dear Jonathan came in from choring.  Marvin was still no good but at least the critical moment had passed.  However, he was throwing up (quite painful after surgery).  Brian was able to tell that his bowels were still completely shut down after the anesthesia.  Since Marvin kept throwing up and wasn't doing well, we realized it was not something we could deal with at home. We headed to the ER.  Marvin was admitted NPO (nothing by mouth) and I wondered in my mind how we would manage another surgery for a bile duct blockage so quickly after the hernia surgery.  Plus, our surgeon for the bile duct issue is in another town.  But, here is where another HUGE miracle comes into play.  We didn't have to have that blockage surgically removed because, as it turns out, Marvin passed it through the bile duct on his own!  THAT is what was happening in that 'high pain episode' that I witnessed.  Whew.  It was a heck of a way to deal with that problem and a pretty painful miracle, but a miracle it was.  And we are so thankful.  (sidenote - my husband is tough beyond belief)

One funny from the night that Marvin was admitted to the hospital.  We were in his room on the 4th floor and were getting him settled in when a nurse walked by in the hallway.  I recognized her as the nurse who had been on duty Monday night when we brought Daddy to that same floor.  She looked at me, then looked at Marvin in the bed, then looked back at me with a surprised look on her face.  She said, "I recognize you, but that's a different one" while pointing at Marvin.  :)  ha!  I had to laugh!  I am sure it did seem a bit odd that here I was back again just two nights later with another admitted patient to the 4th floor of the hospital!  I explained that Monday had been my Daddy and this was my husband.  :)  However, it would have to be stated in her defense that *I* was the constant.  :D

Marvin stayed in the hospital for 2 more days primarily to allow his bowels to 'turn back on'.  I believe all the trauma of the abdominal surgery and anesthesia was just too much for his system and it took awhile for his body to come back to functioning (both bile duct system and bowels).  But we continue to think about the various miracles that occurred and the ways that God prepared us for all of this by positioning dear friends and family exactly where we needed them.  (and looking even further back... the past medical issues which allowed us to know what was going on)  As if we needed a reminder... God's got us.

We got home from the hospital on Friday night and were so happy to be home.  Marvin came home on a liquid diet (he lost about 8 pounds during this week of trauma) but was tolerating what we were giving him and we were feeling good.  By Thursday of the following week we had graduated to mashed potatoes.  Happy day!!  :)  Friday morning Marvin woke up thinking that things were going to start going better.  Then he got out of bed.  Unbelievably, his knee had such horrible pain that he could hardly walk.  He hadn't hit it or injured it and there were no visible marks that would indicate a bite of any kind. We were stumped.  As the day went on the pain grew worse and by that evening it was swollen as well.  We checked for redness, streaking and heat (fearing a potential blood clot) but that just wasn't what we were dealing with.

On Monday morning we got in to see about it and confirmed that the issue was isolated to just the knee.  We were told it could possibly be an infection and got an appointment with the orthopedic doctor for the following day.  He drained the knee and that gave some good relief pretty quickly.  He felt that it wasn't an infection, but gout!  Gout??  We still felt better that it wasn't an infection.  The doctor sent the fluid off for lab work and called us on the weekend with some surprising news.  It wasn't actually gout!  It was FAKE gout!  ha!  Yes, that is a *thing*.  It is called pseudo-gout and is calcium crystals in the cartilage (instead of uric acid like in gout).  Well, that is when another lightbulb went on.  This was likely connected to the 'high pain event' from a couple weeks prior... the passing of the bile duct blockage (that usually requires surgery but Marvin did 'on his own').  Calcium crystals must have then lodged in the knee as a point of weakness (he does have some mild arthritis in that knee).  The good news is that draining the knee was the best treatment and no medicines were needed.  More good news is that because it isn't 'regular' gout, he isn't prone to have it happen again.  It was all part of that cycle of trauma surrounding the surgery.  Ironic.  The hernia surgery itself was successful.  But the trauma surrounding the event was pretty awful to deal with.

The wonderful news to report is that we are now about 6 weeks out and Marvin is doing much better.  He has gained a few of those pounds back and is getting around without much pain or discomfort.  He is slowly moving back into his routine, although he sure can't get back to his 'normal'.  He works far too hard to be able to go right back to all of that.  But he is building strength and carefully expanding what he does again here at Willis Creek Ranch.

We are just so thankful for our dear Jonathan.  He has taken on the full responsibility of running Willis Creek Ranch for the last couple of months - from even before the surgery since Marvin was having such a hard time with the hernia.  He has never complained, he has just done everything above and beyond.  All while working hard at school and keeping his grades up.  It is a big job to keep this place going and we could never have done it without him.  What a wonderful young man he is (we knew that, of course) but we are so grateful and thankful to him, yet again.  We are also thankful to everyone for their prayers, notes of encouragement, cards, meals... the list goes on.  I wrote about all of you in my post Community and I feel that I should just share it again and again.  We are so appreciative and thankful.

a rainy view from the 4th floor of the hospital

Here are the facebook updates that I was posting throughout this time.  Just 'for the record'.  :) 

March 25 at 1:29 PM ·

So this winter was tough in several (continuing) ways! Marvin is going to have surgery tomorrow morning for an inguinal hernia (or possibly two...). We check in at 5:30 am for a 7:30 am surgery. They expect he will come home tomorrow. He is sure ready to get the surgery done and on the road to recovery so that he can get out and work in this beautiful spring sunshine!! Jonathan is on spring break this week and we are sure glad that he is ready and able to completely take over all the farm chores. What a guy! Of course, we always appreciate your prayers.

March 25 at 4:08 PM ·

Folks, today has gotten more interesting. Daddy is sick and fell at home this afternoon. Extremely weak and wobbly. Came to ER in ambulance. Doing better now and they are running many tests. Will update as we know more. Definitely appreciate all your prayers.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 25 at 6:12 PM ·

Daddy is being admitted overnight. He is feeling better. We are still figuring things out. He (and we) surely do appreciate all your prayers.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 26 at 8:18 AM ·

Marvin is in surgery and they told me to expect him to be away about 4 hours. I am with daddy now in his hospital room and he had a decent night. He has been diagnosed with flu. We are still waiting on some other information as well. I will update later but Marvin and Daddy (and all our family) so appreciate all your prayers.

Julie took today off and is with mama. Both will be here soon.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 26 at 10:36 AM ·

Marvin is still in surgery but daddy is being discharged.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 26 at 12:21 PM ·

Marvin is now out of surgery and recovery and back with me in his outpatient room. All went well. Successful   We should be heading home ourselves in a few hours.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 26 at 3:19 PM ·

Home. 

:)

Laura Magruder Mann

March 27 at 8:50 PM ·

Please do keep praying for Marvin and Daddy. Marvin is having some issues today/evening that are really causing him pain and discomfort. Seems to be his old bile duct problems coming alive. Thank you all so much.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 27 at 9:54 PM ·

We are at the ER. I’ll keep you posted.

Updated... Marvin is being admitted. Having lots of pain and nausea/vomiting.

Updated again... Marvin is settled into his room at the hospital and is doing better. Nausea much better, pain some better.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 28 at 10:45 AM ·

Marvin still in the hospital. Still has pain and nausea/vomiting but not quite as bad as last night. We are in a holding pattern of sorts. His bowels are still not working. Specific prayers for that much appreciated.

Laura Magruder Mann

March 28 at 3:53 PM ·

I feel like we have really turned a corner. Much better than even a few hours ago. They have not mentioned discharge yet but I am feeling so much better about how this is going. Hallelujah! Thank you all for your prayers!!

Laura Magruder Mann

March 29 at 9:15 AM ·

Looks like a good ‘plan of the day’ to me!

Laura Magruder Mann

March 29 at 8:00 PM

Home! (And this time we intend to stay here!)   :)  Bless the wonderful ladies on the 4th floor. They are truly overworked and underpaid!

Laura Magruder Mann

April 6  10:09 AM

Quote of the day from Marvin... “I feel like a 1955 Cadillac. Slam one door and the other door falls off.”

He is greatly improved. Graduated from liquid diet to solid food yesterday and all went well. Unfortunately yesterday he developed a pain in his knee (maybe nerve?) that is making it hard to walk. But overall, we are much better than we were so we will take it!

Random November and December

I missed the December Sojourners Club, but was happy to be there back in November when the KHS choir performed.  Rebecca M is a wonderful teacher and those kids sing their hearts out.  It is always a joy to hear them.

President Thomas sent these lovely flowers to Daddy when he was sick in November.  Very nice.

We had a family dinner together - Brianna, Laura, Marvin, Daddy, Mama, Julie, Jonathan 

Brianna, Laura, Marvin, Daddy, Mama, Julie, Jackson

Thankful for dear Anne who brought a yummy dinner when we were in the midst of sickness and stress.  

And dear Sherry who graciously sent home some extra cookies for us!!!  (they were delicious!)

The only photo I could get of Jonathan's last day of his first semester of college.  :)

Daddy has been interviewed by a nice young man from the Missouri Historical Society.  He came for his first interview in December and will return for a second (with a walking tour of Truman) sometime in February.

Daddy with Sean, from MO Historical Society

I love this.  Daddy got his KHS Football Hall of Fame ring.  So glad he got one!

Had a big event in December... dear Rojina graduated with her Masters degree.  Julie was able to fly out to be there for the weekend.  We were all there in spirit!

James and Rojina greeted Julie in the airport with flowers.  :)

Daddy took this screen shot of Rojina during her graduation ceremony -
while he was watching the live stream of the ceremony.