sadness and family

May 29 and 30, 2021

So, Mama planted flowers on May 26.  Felt sick to her stomach on May 27, went to the hospital thinking we would get some IV fluids and come back home on May 28 - and instead had part one of emergency surgery for a twisted intestine... then died on May 29 following part two of that same, complicated surgery.  What a blur of events.  It was shocking then and it is still shocking now.  We truly never saw this coming.  The pain is for ourselves and our great loss that we feel - not having Mama in our lives anymore.  But there is no pain for Mama - and we know she would have wanted the decisions made exactly as they were made.  We have been able to find peace in beautiful precious memories of a life very well lived.  How could it have been any better? 

Hannah, Julie, Kerry and I coming out of the hospital on May 29 after Mama had died.  I'll link back to this post...

Dear Maria honored Mama's memory the next morning with a fallen rose on the altar at her church.  

We all gathered together for church in Daddy's living room.  I took great comfort in holding this precious little boy... Generation 4.  Babies truly do make hard things better. 

I remember determining to keep taking photos... I don't really remember the photos that ended up on my phone, but I know that I purposefully aimed the camera often.  In the blur and pain it felt like the right thing to do... and I am glad I did.

Maverick helping us all to clear our minds...

Sweet boy - as I took these photos I remember picturing in my mind the photos from a year ago of Mama holding her first great-grandson in this very rocking chair.  

All my senses were on overdrive - I was very aware of the sunshine, the breeze...

the way this yard of my childhood looked and felt...

Julie was playing some of Daddy and Mama's favorite hymns on the piano for Daddy (and all of us).  Maverick wanted to play with her.  Pretty much all the Generation 3 kids have spent time on Julie's lap while she plays piano - it is a great way to learn and get a good feel for it.  Maverick truly enjoyed it. 

Anna and Matthew arrived Sunday afternoon.  They had to make a quick trip with the long drive but we were so thankful to get to see them and hug them.  We all just needed to be together.  There was strength and comfort in that. 

FaceTiming with James and Rojina

That night as I left the home of my childhood, I stood on the porch amazed at the number of fireflies blinking in the darkness... it is impossible to take a representative photo (I tried).  But they were mesmerizing and comforting and very special.  They stayed with us for several weeks... although I haven't seen them as much recently.  

Snippets of video from the first few days after losing dear Mama...